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James Andrew

SCAM HERO # 2: The case of the famous A.I.


A robot calls my office phone and pretends it’s human.


Me: Hello.


Her: Hi. Can I please talk to the person in charge of your merchant accounts.


(It was a female robot voice with fake chatter in the background.)


Me: Is this a real person?


Her: This is a live person.


(Fake sparkles rIng through her synthesized voice.)


Me: What's your name then?


Her: Shannon Miller.


Me: Please tell me this isn't THE Shannon Miller!


Her: I'm sorry. I'm not sure what you mean.


Me: So you're not the 1992 gold-medal-winning Olympic gymnast?


Her: I don't understand.


Me: I see dead people.


Her: I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?


Me: Grandma got ran over by a reindeer.


Her: I'm sorry but.....


Me: Lucy in the sky with diamonds!


Her: I don't...

Me: Creole Lady Marmalade!


Her: I'm sorry b....


Me: Jesus take the wheel!


Her: Ok. Goodbye.


Another one bites the dust.

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