James Andrew
Mar 4, 20201 min
A robot calls my office phone and pretends it’s human.
Me: Hello.
Her: Hi. Can I please talk to the person in charge of your merchant accounts.
(It was a female robot voice with fake chatter in the background.)
Me: Is this a real person?
Her: This is a live person.
(Fake sparkles rIng through her synthesized voice.)
Me: What's your name then?
Her: Shannon Miller.
Me: Please tell me this isn't THE Shannon Miller!
Her: I'm sorry. I'm not sure what you mean.
Me: So you're not the 1992 gold-medal-winning Olympic gymnast?
Her: I don't understand.
Me: I see dead people.
Her: I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?
Me: Grandma got ran over by a reindeer.
Her: I'm sorry but.....
Me: Lucy in the sky with diamonds!
Her: I don't...
Me: Creole Lady Marmalade!
Her: I'm sorry b....
Me: Jesus take the wheel!
Her: Ok. Goodbye.
Another one bites the dust.